When it comes to marriage, women should be allowed to do whatever they want. But are there some traditions that feminist brides should give a second thought to?
Most feminists acknowledge that marriage in the western world is still made up of some pretty sexist ideas. It is also important to acknowledge that in developing countries, the system of marriage often openly oppresses women and girls.
However, here, in a society that gets most of its ideas about marriage from Hollywood, instead of religion, things are a lot subtler.
Plenty of women now choose to keep their own last names, or take on a double-barrel second name in an effort to shun traditional patriarchal rules.
But there are a load of other traditions that seem to go unquestioned. Like the bride not making a speech.
If a silent bride, and a groom that speaks for twenty minutes, doesn’t say ‘I’m just here to look pretty’ I don’t know what does…
Obviously, women ‘should’ make their own choices, but following a tradition without thinking about why first, is a bit more like not choosing.
Combine this with being walked down the aisle by your father, and the patriarchy scores again! Many people still feel that this is a ‘lovely tradition’, but it also undeniably harks back to a time when women were exchanged from one man to the next, because they were actual property.
Then there’s the whole ‘catch the bouquet’ nonsense… Sure, it might make for a nice photo, but again, why are the gals the ones putting on the show?
To me this implies that women are relying on LUCK to get married, because they literally have no control over if or when it will happen…
It’s as though they are all physically unable to propose but ultimately, they also want to get married a heck of a lot more than their male partners (I say male as I think this tradition tends to remain in the realms of heteronormativity).
Otherwise, the boyfriends would be the ones with their arms in the air, trying to catch a bunch of roses.
This convention puts the ball firmly in the court of the grooms to be. Obviously, all of the women are just desperate to marry them, but they’ll have to keep on dreamin’ till Mr ‘happilynotmarried’, decides he wants to become Mr ‘I’mreadytocommit’.
So, if you do choose to get married, keep on questioning those old-fashioned customs. And on the big day? Get up and tell your guests how fantastically happy you are to be there!
Most feminists acknowledge that marriage in the western world is still made up of some pretty sexist ideas. It is also important to acknowledge that in developing countries, the system of marriage often openly oppresses women and girls.
However, here, in a society that gets most of its ideas about marriage from Hollywood, instead of religion, things are a lot subtler.
Plenty of women now choose to keep their own last names, or take on a double-barrel second name in an effort to shun traditional patriarchal rules.
But there are a load of other traditions that seem to go unquestioned. Like the bride not making a speech.
If a silent bride, and a groom that speaks for twenty minutes, doesn’t say ‘I’m just here to look pretty’ I don’t know what does…
Obviously, women ‘should’ make their own choices, but following a tradition without thinking about why first, is a bit more like not choosing.
Combine this with being walked down the aisle by your father, and the patriarchy scores again! Many people still feel that this is a ‘lovely tradition’, but it also undeniably harks back to a time when women were exchanged from one man to the next, because they were actual property.
Then there’s the whole ‘catch the bouquet’ nonsense… Sure, it might make for a nice photo, but again, why are the gals the ones putting on the show?
To me this implies that women are relying on LUCK to get married, because they literally have no control over if or when it will happen…
It’s as though they are all physically unable to propose but ultimately, they also want to get married a heck of a lot more than their male partners (I say male as I think this tradition tends to remain in the realms of heteronormativity).
Otherwise, the boyfriends would be the ones with their arms in the air, trying to catch a bunch of roses.
This convention puts the ball firmly in the court of the grooms to be. Obviously, all of the women are just desperate to marry them, but they’ll have to keep on dreamin’ till Mr ‘happilynotmarried’, decides he wants to become Mr ‘I’mreadytocommit’.
So, if you do choose to get married, keep on questioning those old-fashioned customs. And on the big day? Get up and tell your guests how fantastically happy you are to be there!
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