In
a gentle way, you can shake the world
-Mahatma
Gandhi, Cain, Susan, Quiet,
(Penguin Books, 2013) p.181
Happy
New Year everyone. I hope many of you have had some time to reflect
on things you have achieved in 2017. I am betting even those of you
who cannot think of anything have achieved a lot too, but you are
struggling to remember. I would just like to remind everyone that
every day you get up in the morning is an achievement, so well done!
This article I am writing is addressing a subject that has been
bubbling on the surface for some time now. I have been reading more
books that I have received for Christmas recently, and I have also
been inspired to write about the following subject.
For
a reasonable chunk of my life, I have always wondered why I have not
been as loud and outgoing as other women. This of course is not
uncommon, and it is within our human nature to compare ourselves with
others. The aim I wish to address in this article is the label of the
introvert. Does being an introvert automatically mean I am not
sociable? When I do not wish to share my life with the world in real
life and social media, does that mean I do not have a life? If I do
not always broadcast my opinions in a conversation does that mean
that I am stupid, or boring? If I do not brag about the amount of
work I have done in the week does that mean I am lazy and haven’t
done anything? The point I am making here is that the word introvert
seems to have negative connotations and I am challenging this view. I
have been inspired by a book called Quiet
by Susan Cain, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone who
is feeling squashed by a world that is too loud for them. To
summarise briefly, Cain highlights the power of the introvert, and
she features wonderful examples of well known and inspirational women
who were introverts and how they made a great impact on the world
despite being ‘quiet’. Women such as Rosa Parks and Joanna
Rowling (otherwise known as J.K Rowling) are used to convey this
point beautifully. Anyway, I hope that most of you reading this
article will feel better about having introverted qualities like
myself. Embrace that you are quiet. It is your weapon.
We
can start with the countless parent evenings at my school where my
parents were told by my teachers that in class I was too quiet, often
in another world and rarely socialising with peers, it seems safe to
assume that throughout my school years I was a bit of an introvert.
Though I do not fully agree that the labels are black and white/
extravert or introvert, you are either one or the other, I have to
say that a lot of my qualities are introverted. I had often felt like
there was something wrong with me in my teens. Why could I not make
friends as easily as other girls in my year? I have also come to
realise that it seems insane to me that I would wonder why there was
something wrong with me. If this is who I am, I am not going to
change, so why do I feel this way? Looking back, I now realise that
my response as a teenager was relatively sane. I was only responding
to what society made me believe. The teachers said I was too quiet, I
wasn’t enjoying myself at parties and social gatherings (if I was
ever invited), and my friends I could only count on one hand, and
this is still the case in my twenties. After reading Susan Cain’s
Quiet,
it has enlightened me to realise that introverted qualities have not
exactly been celebrated. For example; Cain draws on the idea of
institutions portraying negative associations of the introvert; ‘many
of the most important institutions of contemporary life are designed
for those who enjoy group projects and high levels of stimulation’
(p.6) Cain also highlights how ‘teachers believe that the ideal
student is an extravert.’ (p.6) These are facts that I have found
to be quite true myself growing up, and Cain’s words make perfect
sense. I was also interested to find that after doing some research
that according to The
Huffington Post,
The American Psychiatric Association had considered implementing the
Introverted Personality in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual as
recently as 2010. This was quite a shocking revelation to me, but it
also told me that an Introvert is significantly misunderstood.
https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&
2 From google images
So what are
the positive qualities about being introverted then? Well firstly,
contrary to what society makes us believe, an introverted leader can
be a great one. This is because by nature we are more inclined to
listen to other people’s opinions rather than delegating our own.
This is a very respectable quality and is often found in the likes of
good teachers. Secondly introverts can be very creative. That is not
to say that extraverts are not, however introverts are often deep
thinkers. When in a quiet environment, we tend to read, draw or just
revel in our own thoughts. Thirdly, introverts can be very
self-sufficient. This is because we often function better alone,
therefore we do not always need the company of others to get things
done. This can be extremely beneficial to any working environment. We
are also hard workers. We concentrate with all our heart and mind to
get things done, and that can never be a bad thing can it? Just try
and remember all the inspirational introverted women out there who
have made their mark just by embracing who they are. Women such as
Eleanor Roosevelt, J.K. Rowling, Rosa Parks, and Audrey Hepburn are
all well known for being introverted, despite their famed status, and
you have to admit there is something so humbling and charming about
these beautiful women.
Hopefully
introverted women reading this can draw inspiration from these women,
and realise that being introverted is not a negative thing. I hope
young girls reading this will see that if you would prefer to read a
book instead of talk to people in your lunch break, that does not
make you anti-social. If you see regular Instagram posts from all
your friends, do not feel like you have to post to feel like you have
some validity in your life. If you would rather stay at home one
night, rather than go to a party because its Friday night and your
friends want you there, do not feel guilty for declining that
invitation. Take this advice from somebody who lived in a heavily
extraverted house for two years at university. I made some amazing
friends, but truthfully sometimes it was difficult to be heard
sometimes or understood if I didn’t feel like going out with
everyone. It is also much kinder to your bank balance as a student
which is even more of an incentive to not feel guilty about going
out. Just remember that you will have lots of opportunities to go out
when you are good and ready. You don’t have to be a party animal to
enjoy yourself. So embrace the fact that you do not need much more
than a good book and a cup of tea to stimulate yourself, there is
such beauty in it.
 p.181 Happy New Year ev...){kind=link}
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