I felt compelled
to name this article “Read If You’re a Girl”, or “Read If You
Have a Sister” or “Read if You’re a Human Being with Basic
Compassion”. Alas, in hopes that this makes it to the people who
are in most dire need of it, let’s briefly discuss why those memes
your girlfriend posted on her spam Instagram were really humorous
coping mechanisms to deal with the sadness you’ve brought upon her.
Mhmm. So, we can
all agree? This 2017 saw nothing but treacherous repeats of the same
kind of treatment we’ve learnt to normalise, and more-so it saw the
men around us prove that they are exactly the kind we’ve spent our
generations fighting back against. Let it be known that if there is
fury in my words it is all intentional and if these feels like a
personal attack then damn right, it is.
We all know the basics of teenage-life. We expect our crushes to turn
out to be complete wastes of time, we expect our male-friends to
eventually try to slip a hand around our shoulders and pull us closer
as if to say “Hey, I know that I [literally always] drain the life
out of you, but I can’t help myself and I have no self control”
but by 18 you become far too used to this. You’ve felt it enough
times to understand that no matter how you set out the conversations,
block/unblock, overuse “bro”, or time replies perfectly, that
we’re stuck in what feels like this vicious cycle. And that’s
exactly what it is, a cycle. We’re taught that in this cycle lives
disappointing Fathers, men you’re in love with that Whatsapp your
pretty friend when you’re sleeping, the old man in your
neighbourhood who’s stared at you since you developed breasts and
the drug dealer who won’t stop snapping you at 3am asking if you
want to ‘link up’ (when in reality you know this is code for free
weed and slobbery probably infectious kisses).
In 2018, I think
our objective should be to burn this cycle and bury it. Take it
apart, make it uneasy to take a ride on, make it harder for
unacceptable things to slip by. With 2017’s iconic statements (not
limited to, but including: the Women’s March, and the #MeToo
Movement) us ladies have made it clearer to the observing world that
we won’t stay silent, and that there are organisations, groups,
friendships and our own damn selves looking out for us – and they
won’t be quiet about it.
It could be
argued, and of course it has, that the #MenAreTrash slogan has given
itself a mockery of a name and that, if anything, it’s now nothing
but a filler in a sentence. I detest, and here’s why:
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You recognise via that trend that many, many ladies have been victim to mistreatment.
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You know that it’s used so often because of how often said mistreatment occurs.
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And, if you’re part of the #NotAllMen stance, you feel personally attacked because you’re aware your friends are horrible but hey, that’s not you, so we should all be quiet – right?
People understand
now more than they have in a long time that girls have been
struggling with relationships from their very birth. When there is a
fight somewhere in South Asia because a Mother decides to keep the
newborn baby girl, despite the family’s wishes, she is born out of
resistance. When a Father tells his daughters than his action of
adultery is fine because “Men will be Men” then they’re living
with the pressure to accept this. When somewhere in our time a little
lady tells her boyfriend she doesn’t want to feel his anger on her
skin anymore, she is forced to be brave to save her life. And this
all happens too often for it, and for our male companions, to push it
under the rug. 2018 is the year of fresh, healthy relationships –
whether romantic, family or friend – with an abundance of
protection and communication. And isn’t it a shame that we must ask
for this.
In 2018, keep the
women in your life safe because they’ve been silent for the longest
time. Let them speak, do not tread on their movement to something
that only asks to be treated as the males around them.
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